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DAN ILIC’s GUIDE TO THE ELECTION: #C@%TASTROPHE2013

Over the last few weeks I’ve been creating stories for The Feed on SBS2 around the circus of electapoolooza 2013.

Here there are as a triptych so you can elect your balls away….

THREE WORD SLOGANS

THE RACE FOR MIDDLE AUSTRALIA

VOTING BELOW THE LINE

(And before you all go banging on about it… 1) yes it is very Brooker. 2) Yes in middle australia the dark patch on my face swaps sides… why? because i’m unco and can’t do left right things in mirror.. so I flopped the shot for you nufties. 3) Apparently you can vote below the line.. and above the line just incase you stuff up below the line… don’t take my word for it here’s Antony Green “If you want to be ultra safe, fill in below the line and the fill in one of the above the line squares. The below the line vote takes priority, but if proves to be informal, the ballot paper will revert to the above the line option.”)

By dan

Honing my Jones

The poor parrot, lately he’s been out of his cage causing a racket. Alan Jones has been a powerful force in Australian media for a very long time. It’s been said that his influence can make or break Prime Ministers.

However lately he seems to be losing that golden touch. Traditional media in all forms is becoming flatter, and broadcasting is becoming narrower. I secretly love The Parrot, I think he’s a terrific, strange and repugnant character who claims to be the voice of the battler. He’s one man who is very much in touch with everyday people, he sees them out the window of his chauffeur driven merc , swiftly walks past them on the way to his private lift at his office, peers down at them with binoculars from his penthouse apartment above Sydney’s toaster. I’m sure he even hears stories about battlers from David his butler.

That’s why I love Alan, he’s a guy that’s missing something from his life, so he fills it with the fantastic (and fabulous) Here are several impressions I’ve done of Alan Jones over the years… from the latest to the very first. He’s beautiful character.

Alan Jones has at least ONE advertiser left on his show…. Alan Jones (Thanks to Charlie Pickering for this idea)

Alan Jones makes a heartfelt apology to the Prime Minister:

Alan Jones in Annie The Musical (Hamster Wheel ABCTV)

I can’t find this clip online.. but I’ll see if I can dig it up somewhere else… Written by Chris Taylor, it was a sketch about Jone’s incorrect figures on climate change. Classic Chaser.

Dan Ilic doing Alan Jones at Digital Eskimo’s Do Gooder Launch 

Do Gooder – Dan Ilic does Alan Jones from Do Gooder on Vimeo.

Alan Jones talks climate denial with HG Nelson (Steaming Toad)

Alan Jones does a cameo in I’m A Climate Scientist
Probably my favourite sketch I wrote and directed for Hungry Beast


Ever noticed how John Michael Howson and Alan Jones sound the same?

Alan Jones vs The Worm (Fairfax Media)

Alan Jones calls the date for the 2007 Election (Fairfax Digital)
This was the very first go at it… so the writing is a bit dodgy… and man.. I am seriously fat… why did no one tell me?

A great pic from the set of I’m A Climate Scientist

By dan

The Sydney Mining Herald: Fairfax’s Future

Thinking ahead 5-10 years to when Gina Rinehart finally sacks a few Fairfax executives, rips up the charter, and installs a sympathetic board, it’s not too hard to imagine the front page of the SMH for that day. I should point out here that I occasionally work worked for Gina Fairfax Media… 

Click Image for full picture.

(Additional jokes from Scott Mitchell)

By dan

I’m A Climate Scientist…. The Coda

Hungry Beast S3 is over and has been put to bed. Weather we are going again is not a questions I can answer. All we know is that we’re done for now.One of the great experiences of this show in the third season is the ability to push through and make some really great content, most hit the TV screen, some just couldn’t fit and hit the YouTube channel, and managed to digital life. Two of those stories were some of my favourites, Jetconnect and Abortion Vigil which I produced with the wonderful Mon Schafter.

Certainly my favourite story this season was I’m A Climate Scientist. It managed to cause trouble all around the world. Racking up posts in Fast Company, Crikey,  Huffington Post, Greenpeace, MoveOn,  Idea, as well as global press too. I just love this article in Holland’s biggest broadsheet.

I recently got this feedback from Penny Hawe in Canada:

Congratulations to the makers of the rap video, “I’m a climate scientist”. It was  shown at the plenary opening session of the 40th annual meeting of the Canadian Science Writers Association today in Calgary (heartland of the oil industry).  People stood and cheered. It was shown in relation to a discussion of the ethical responsibilities regarding how ‘sides’ of stories
are (and should be) constructed.As an ex-pat Aussie in Canada I was delighted (and proud!). Thank you.

The initial idea stemmed from being annoyed while watching Q And A one night and noticing that while people were passionate about climate change, they prefaced everything the caveat “I’m not a climate scientist but….”

According to Media Monitors the phrase “I’m not a climate scientist but…” was only uttered a few times this year in Australian media, for some reason I felt like I had heard it much more often. Perhaps it was the echo chamber of twitter that solidified the expression in my brain. For me it had become a standard line that gave the “expert” a license to express any kind of dribbling nonsensical science at the truth’s expense.

So began the challenge of combating this phrase, with fact and funny. In order to do this I wanted a piece that had all the authority from actual climate scientists, but also ballsy enough to disrupt the current media conversation. Who would have thought that talking heads discussing the end of the world would be boring as watching permafrost melt.

The result was “I’m A Climate Scientist” a Beastie Boys-esque hip hop track. It was written by myself, Duncan Elms (who also did all the After Effects work) with help from Prof. Roger Jones, and Dr. Katrin Meissner two of the world’s leading climate scientists who just happen to be working in Australia. Special credit should go to my awesome producer Nikita Agzarian, who bashed the phones for a week to pull more than 13 Climate Scientists together for the main shoot.

Two side notes, I’m A Climate Scientist was played across Australian TV, but none more important than, The Bolt Report on Network Ten. (@ 3m49s)


Recently I’m A Climate Scientist had a very sweet, and shit stirring coda. A week after Hungry Beast left the airwaves, My mate, James Brechney, tweeted last week that he was taking his parents to Q and A, a noble but lets face it inexpensive gesture. I replied “Try and say I’m Not A Climate Scientist but…” he said he would try… and the results were impressive, if you listen carefully, there are at least three references to I’m A Climate Scientist…. including an attempt to reference the line “Anglican Revivalist…”.

Twitter blew up, then the Australian published an article claiming that Mr Brechney had a point, This was followed by several articles about the prank.

The West Australian

The Australian – Media Section

The Australian – Strewth

In a way it’s why I made I’m A Climate Scientist…. to be used as a ridiculous weapon for reasonable people to use against insanity.

By dan

Rally To Restore Irony

If you only caught parts of Rally For Sanity on TV, or the net, you could be forgiven for wondering what exactly it was all about. Even Stewart himself acknowledge the ambiguity in his own message “What exactly was this?”

For me yesterday’s Rally is an extension of what Jon Stewart has been doing since he took over The Daily Show. Slamming the news media, with its own medium.  The Rally, is just another medium, albeit much much larger, to flip over.

Sitting at the rear of the press section, looking over all the TV cameras, photographers, journalists scribbling furiously, broadcasters practicing live crosses, this event is to big for media to ignore. I couldn’t help but feel an immense sense of irony as Stewart and his team carefully slapped faces of the 24 hour TV networks, and the press, with only a passing mention to Capitol Hill for two hours straight.

“The press can hold its magnifying glass up to our problems and illuminate problems heretofore unseen, or it can use its magnifying glass to light ants on fire, and then perhaps host a week of shows on the sudden, unexpected dangerous-flaming-ant epidemic. If we amplify everything, we hear nothing.” (Jon Stewart)

For four nights a week Stewart himself uses his magnifying glass to do the same to the fourth estate. Yesterday he used the biggest magnifying glass possible and took the piss on the biggest scale imaginable.

The show itself tried valiantly to entertain the masses gathered. While the nuance of the comedic pieces got lost on the sea of rally goers, the sentiment didn’t.

For Stewart this wasn’t about politics, it was about society, and how the media is polarising its audience and turning them against each other. Unsurprisingly such a complex idea doesn’t translate to clicks, or sound bytes. As a result, the following day, it was covered very little in the mainstream media as Jeff Jarvis writes.

“The morning after: The Rally to Restore Sanity was about media, but media didn’t hear. The New York Times, Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, CNN, MSNBC, and, of course, Fox News all played it down on their home pages; the Guardian and Die Zeit Online played it bigger.”

But does that really matter when 215000 moderately minded individuals (125000 more than Glen Beck’s Rally) came out to support, and cheer on their spokesperson for reason? I don’t think so.

At the time, sitting at the back of the media pack in the National Mall, I wasn’t sure how to feel about this event. 24 hours later I am blown away, by Stewart’s courage and feel privileged to be part of the biggest satirical event ever staged.

Irony is alive and well in the United States of America.

@danilic is a comedian, and filmmaker, he is best known as a presenter on the ABC Television show Hungry Beast.

By dan

BP: PHOTOSHOP IS FUN

NEW ORLEANS — BP acknowledges it posted an altered photo on its website exaggerating the amount of activity in its command centre. “It’s a shame we got caught out this time, those photos made us look cool, like NCIS” says Donna Lawrence, BP’s vice president of Photoshop. BP was caught out when a blogger noticed some inconsistencies in the photo published on the oil giant’s website “Well at first I was like, whoa, former president Ged Bartlett, Mr T, Captain Sullenberger, AND Chuck Norris.  They are really pulling out all the stops.” Says Darren Philips who runs OilFreedomWatch.com “But then I thought. Hang on, if Chuck Norris is there, who’s protecting Texas? and that’s when I noticed the second Mr. T…. Rookie mistake”

When asked if BP would discipline the photoshop artist in question Lawrence was more defensive “Ana is an incredibly talented graphic designer, she can put a picture of you in Times Square, or put your name in 3D letters, and besides when you come personally recommend from Mahmoud Ahmadinejad you’re entitled to a second chance”

The company refused to say just how many photographs posted on their website have been digitally altered.

By dan

Little Old Asian Ladies Slam Illegal Downloaders

NEW YORK-Illegal movie downloads are having a devastating effect on the nation’s elderly female Asian DVD pirates and they’ve had enough. “These people are parasites” Says Faye Chan, General Manager of Lucky Copy Movie Team, the largest nation wide network of little old asian ladies who manufacture and sell pirated DVDs.

“They take our hard work and give it away for next to nothing. It’s expensive to bootleg a movie, and if the movie is in 3D, we need  film it with two cameras and that means we have buy two tickets to the cinema” said Ms Chan whose family has been pirating movies since BetaMax. “My mother was a bootlegger, her mother before her was a bootlegger, my great grandmother started off with Tango and Cash”

As well as rise of digital downloading, the current economic climate has made it even tougher for people like Faye Chan “In 2008 rising costs saw us pack up our DVD plant in Chinatown, and outsource the entire operation to a town in China.”

DAN ILIC’s GUIDE TO THE ELECTION: #C@%TASTROPHE2013
Honing my Jones
The Sydney Mining Herald: Fairfax’s Future
I’m A Climate Scientist…. The Coda